Do You REALLY Mean Everything You Say?

He said, "Let me ask you a question..Do you really mean everything you say?"

*Neutral posture, no body language, emotionless gaze.*

((Where did that question come from, and why can't I "hear" what he's really asking me?))

"Well, with the exception of when I'm "talking shit," which is completely obvious....Yes..I believe I do..Why? Is there a reason you're asking me this?"

"Well, it's just something you said earlier..About how you may feel THIS way about something today....But tomorrow, you may feel completely different.."

((Ahhhh...!))

*Smile*

((I love it when people really listen to what I'm saying..And how nice to have my most recent epiphany addressed..))

**Nod acknowledging the question while processing the answer**

"Yes..It's true! As hypocritical as that may look in this moment, I have come to a deeper understanding of "Beliefs" recently. I'm able to see now that how I feel about anything, and what I believe about anything, is determined by what I have learned about it. So it is not reasonable to refuse to re-examine my beliefs when new information is introduced to me, THAT would not be living authentically."

*Breathe*

**Inventory what I've said..And what I still need to convey**

((I'm doing it! This is making sense!))

"It does not mean that what I think/feel TODAY is wrong, because it isn't, it's just what is true for me IN THIS MOMENT. BUT I am learning new things, all day everyday. So many things I've always thought I deeply understood often look different now, because I'm open to accepting new information about these very important beliefs. I have recently noticed a shift in how I feel about my beliefs and being open to making adjustments, even when it's uncomfortable or hard." 

((Here it is...I'm actually gonna get it all out!))

"In my opinion, the privilege to change our minds whenever we want to is one of the greatest gifts of being human. And the biggest hypocrisy would be to not allow myself to evolve by shutting things out that could shift my beliefs, which would be a huge insult to myself and the people around me, it would not be mindful, it would not be conscious. It would be judgmental, it would be self sabotage, it would definitely be failure. It is our right and responsibility as humans to lead as full an existence as possible, and to accomplish that, nothing can be overlooked or ignored."

*Breathe*

((That wasn't so bad...I think I did it!))

"....You've changed....So much about you is different, you've really changed."

*Neutral posture, no body language, emotionless gaze* 

((Why can't I "hear" what he's really telling me?))

*Breathe, create space, stop trying to judge his words*

"Not just your appearance, something deep about you has changed.."

 ((As good as truly being listened to right now feels, this is getting uncomfortable, he's known me for years and I feel like I'm under his magnifying glass..Well, I meant all of what I said, so it is what it is. It will be ok, I'm being authentic. That's the best I can do. It's ok!))

"You've definitely changed, and only in a GOOD way."

*Nod*

*Breathe....*

((WHEW!!!))

*Smile*

"Thank you...."

Night Time

i really like my space

it's a big part of why i love the night time

it's so quiet

and lonely

and cleaner

People Are Like Water, They Seek the Path of Least Resistance

ORIGINALLY POSTED:   Sunday, January 13, 2008

A little background on what started the proverbial wheels turning on this subject....

So, I was emailing back and forth with a friend last night, he was telling me one of his employees is no longer with him, and he made the statement that he, as I know, "has that effect on people."
My response to my friend, who is very successful, who I admire very much, was something to the effect of "You're intense. It takes a special person to deal with you. It's not a bad thing. It's part of why you're so successful in the things you are passionate about, and determined to succeed in. There are several things most people can't stand in that statement. Passion, determination, intensity, success. I am beginning to think most people are afraid of these things, whether they realize or admit it or not."

He replied with the following: "So how sick am I, thank you that is one of the nicest things someone has said to me in a very long time..I don't think people are as afraid of it as they are unwilling to make the commitments to them, and their personal success, as they demand. Its easy to sit on the couch and call someone like me a work-a-haulic. Its easy to say I am to "in to my work" but oddly the 99% of the people who say that are taking money from me at the time. I don't enjoy being intense, determined or passionate. I honestly wish I could just sit and watch the world go by, but no one puts food on my table, feeds my kids or watches over my employees children if I rest. I have the great privilege of being the captain of my ship. I have the honor of being able to command my destiny. But my ship is not a ocean liner on its way to Mazatlan. It's a river raft and my job is more about avoiding rocks, my team helps me do that and when they become anchors they endanger the rest of the crew and my security and I cut them free. It is not a process I enjoy. It is the process I must do to keep my ship afloat and those aboard alive. People are like water, they seek the path of least resistance even if it means falling over a cliff… but then water falls are always kind of fun to watch (except for the noise of the falling water)"

And what I had to say to that was this: "Well, you know I admire you, it was meant to be a compliment, and you are not sick to recognize that, you're just aware of your surroundings, which is good whether you're an ocean liner or a raft. After all, even the indestructible Titanic sank. It could have been avoided, I'm sure, but it's crew was far too confident in the ship's famed construction and nowhere near as diligent in their watch as they should have been. Icebergs are big and sharp, and although people usually appear nowhere near as menacing, they are more often than not just as unforgiving, and sometimes, more than even I am comfortable admitting, they seem way more willing to sink you rather than allow your safe passage. The most unfortunate thing is that, unlike water frozen into icebergs, which are comfortably predictable geographically, people are not so easy to watch out for. You never know when the ocean of people will be smooth sailing and allow safe passage, or when it's temperament climate might drop below the freezing point. I love to watch a waterfall in all it's freedom, and the the noise of water falling has never bothered me. In fact, the louder the better as far as I'm concerned. LoL. In my opinion, by the way, avoidance of commitment is more a form of fear than almost anything else I can think of."

Okay, that's the thick of what got my mind spinning on the subject at hand. What I want to come to understand is WHY does it seem that so many people are turned off by passion, determination, intensity, success, etc.....What is it about strong personality characteristics like these that seems to make people want to steer clear?

Why do people think passionate and/or intense people are strange? What makes being around people like this uncomfortable for others? What isn't grand about someone caring for something so much that they want to dedicate so much attention to it? In my opinion, it's wonderful if a person can find something that interests them so much, it's fulfilling to feel as though you're spending your time on something that matters. Even if just to you.

People also seem to be repelled by determination and success. More success than determination, really, but why? Are people so shallow that they can't stand being around someone that's doing well for themselves? Does it make them feel bad about themselves in some way? So many times I've heard people complain about how a successful person they know acts. They always say that their successful friend acts like they are better than other people, or that they have to flaunt it, or something along those lines. Does the success of others determine how these people feel about themselves? Why? Do they feel sorry for themselves, or embarrassed that they haven't worked harder and achieved something more as well? Bitter??? People that have experienced success should be able to feel good about it. And what's the point of working to become successful if you can't reap the benefits of it? Why is it flaunting? Why do others feel it's condescending? It should be inspiring rather than annoying. It's just really too bad.

My friend was right when he said "People are like water, they seek the path of least resistance..." I suppose this may contribute to the discontent of the types of people mentioned above. Passion, determination, intensity, success.....Creative people move against the flow. They create resistance. The other people are happy with being swept along without much effort or thought, creative people interrupt the natural flow of their lives, and if much thought is put into their different perspectives, more effort is necessary, resistance increases.....So many people are lazy, and want everything to be effortless. Nothing in life is free, if you chose the path of least resistance, you choose a life of few decisions, and little opportunity for the envied success. Envy. I think that is what it is that creates this negativity. Envy.

Life is only what you make it. Things don't change. PEOPLE change, and then PEOPLE change things. Imagine a world of intense resistance, of people full of determination and passion. A place without envy, full of people focused on something better. What if the scales were tipped the other way, and people were more intent on progression, instead of the regression of those around them that they envy.That's where I want to live.