"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

***A Quote From The Velveteen Rabbit


I Have a Job Interview Today


hello sisters,

I am hoping that someone in our wonderful and broad community of healers and amazing women may know these people. I am interviewing for a receptionist/office assistant position with them today at 5 and am just wondering if they are somehow connected in any way to Shakti or any of my sisters. i guess maybe i'm hoping that if they are, somehow it might help me.

I'm so nervous that my stomach is in knots (again, :-( and i was finally feeling better after being under the weather practically all week!) and i'm feeling really choked up, teary eyed and so scared/nervous/self conscious/etc that i am shaking badly through my entire body. i have chewed the crap out of my right thumb, i mean, it's definitely been worse, but wtf? am i so compulsive in my nervous state that i do that without even noticing what i'm doing? i hope they don't look at it! AND i have cried a few times this morning already, with more to come i'm sure, and really couldn't get much sleep last night.

i finally finished a rough draft of some semblance of a resume and sent it off to my stepmom who is going to read it over for me since she is skilled with the resume thing. i wrote, picked apart, erased, scribbled and scrapped that piece of paper 2 times before she finally convinced me to stop beating it to death and send it on over...

i can't remember the last time i interviewed for a job, let alone had a resume. and what does one put on a resume when for the last several years her main form of employment was either as a stripper, or more recently, an escort? i don't think that would be real impressive to anyone hiring for a legitimate job, and really, i can't blame them.

so.....a real job. maybe, just maybe. but first....the preparation necessary to even apply, and then an interview...PLUS the lady told me on the phone that this is going to be a "group interview"....what in the world does that mean?! whatever the answer, my mind just can't seem to wrap itself around the concept that it could be anything but bad....and totally scary.

all of this makes me feel like i just wanna shut down completely. feeling all these feelings at all, let alone so strongly, is so overwhelming that i feel like i'm caught in the riptide, being pulled out into the ocean and tossed around by the waves. like when you get rolled surfing at the beginning of a big set, and the waves won't let you get your bearings and get to the surface. that feeling of desperation and fear that you feel when you really NEED to get a breath, but you have no control because you're caught in the unforgiving ocean waters. fuck.

anyways......if anyone knows anything about this company or these people, it seems like knowing that would make me feel better for some reason. any insight would be appreciated.

love, jamie lee

Good Vibrations Family Chiropractic
Dr Joe and Stacey Merlo, D.C.
San Diego Chiropractors
4060 Adams Avenue
San Diego, CA 92116


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