ORIGINALLY POSTED: Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Today is a challenge. I fought the clock nearly all night long, even now I try to pull the blinds more tightly shut, maybe if I can keep the light out...Maybe if the sun can't get in...Maybe if I just squeeze my eyes shut as tightly as I can and lie very still...Maybe time will stop. I won't have to see my friend's heart broken. Maybe 10:00 won't come. Please don't let 10:00 come.
I wish that day months ago could just be erased. It seems like yesterday, there is never enough time. But it has been much longer than anyone expected, so much longer. Still...It's so hard to see my friend hurting, frightened and uncertain. All this time we knew it was coming, but how do you prepare? How do you accept something so life changing gracefully? How can I help her through this, it feels like the end of the world to her.
In one more hour one of my dearest friends will say goodbye to her little girl. They will come and put her to sleep, and then take her away, and that will be the end of her fight, poor little girl. She was so strong and made it so much longer than anyone imagined. I wonder if she fought so hard because she didn't want to leave my friend, a special kind of loyalty, true love.
My friend, I'm so proud of her, was strong through all this, she has done everything so selflessly, I admire her for her ability to put her girl's comfortability and best interests before her own needs. She has done her best to make everyday the best day, even when she felt like her world was crashing down. She tried so hard to never let her girl see her breaking. I wonder if I could be as strong as she has been, it hits so close to home and I feel for her so deeply that it makes me doubt that I could. But today...Today I have to be strong for my friend, I have to be there for her, that is what today is for.
Love what you've got today. Days go by and things are usual and comfortable, we grow accustomed to this and take the most special parts of our lives for granted. Because the most special things are almost always the things that are always there, the things we love, that love us. I have found through all of this that I am guilty. I have often taken advantage of the comfort that my most cherished things will be there when I get home, and the days will continue to slip by just as they have. It's a dangerous mistake. There may always be tomorrow...But, if there isn't, yesterday is gone too. I don't want to let the days slip by anymore.
In 45 minutes a little white angel will get her wings. She has always been an angel, my friend's guardian angel, and soon she will be just that in the truest sense. My friend wondered, "Will she come visit me in my dreams?" Of course. I know that she will never leave, she will always be right by my friend's side, bouncing along on a leash of love. True love never dies.
I wish that day months ago could just be erased. It seems like yesterday, there is never enough time. But it has been much longer than anyone expected, so much longer. Still...It's so hard to see my friend hurting, frightened and uncertain. All this time we knew it was coming, but how do you prepare? How do you accept something so life changing gracefully? How can I help her through this, it feels like the end of the world to her.
In one more hour one of my dearest friends will say goodbye to her little girl. They will come and put her to sleep, and then take her away, and that will be the end of her fight, poor little girl. She was so strong and made it so much longer than anyone imagined. I wonder if she fought so hard because she didn't want to leave my friend, a special kind of loyalty, true love.
My friend, I'm so proud of her, was strong through all this, she has done everything so selflessly, I admire her for her ability to put her girl's comfortability and best interests before her own needs. She has done her best to make everyday the best day, even when she felt like her world was crashing down. She tried so hard to never let her girl see her breaking. I wonder if I could be as strong as she has been, it hits so close to home and I feel for her so deeply that it makes me doubt that I could. But today...Today I have to be strong for my friend, I have to be there for her, that is what today is for.
Love what you've got today. Days go by and things are usual and comfortable, we grow accustomed to this and take the most special parts of our lives for granted. Because the most special things are almost always the things that are always there, the things we love, that love us. I have found through all of this that I am guilty. I have often taken advantage of the comfort that my most cherished things will be there when I get home, and the days will continue to slip by just as they have. It's a dangerous mistake. There may always be tomorrow...But, if there isn't, yesterday is gone too. I don't want to let the days slip by anymore.
In 45 minutes a little white angel will get her wings. She has always been an angel, my friend's guardian angel, and soon she will be just that in the truest sense. My friend wondered, "Will she come visit me in my dreams?" Of course. I know that she will never leave, she will always be right by my friend's side, bouncing along on a leash of love. True love never dies.
This blog is dedicated to Princess, without her, I would have never met a truly wonderful and inspiring friend, someone I admire and care for deeply. Love Always. <3<3<3
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