"It doesn't happen all at once," said the Skin Horse. "You become. It takes a long time. That's why it doesn't happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in your joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand."

***A Quote From The Velveteen Rabbit


Memory Flash

ORIGINALLY POSTED:  Monday, April 23, 2007  

"I have 2 of those!!!!" I called out as I pointed to the beautiful little white one, I was pumping gas, but I was so excited to see another that looked so much like my little girl, such a rare thing. I gave the girl and her boyfriend my number and told her to call me, we should hang out, and then they left. I watched them walk away, I watched the little one mostly. She looked so much like mine it had startled me at first glance.

The girl actually called a few days later, to my surprise and excitement. My boyfriend and I took my two over to her house to play, while we talked to the girl and her boyfriend. They played together once, the three of them. My girl got jealous when my boy played with the other girl, the one that looked so much like herself. She snapped at the other, caught a bit of skin, causing her face to bleed a bit. My new friend gracefully and calmly quieted the situation, I felt so bad. My new friend reassured me that all was well...Please come back, everything is fine, we aren't mad. And she meant it. So I did, I went back, and we became very good friends, the girl I met at 7-11 and I.

Sometime around the New Year of 2007 I was petting her and rubbing her, the other white one, telling her how pretty she was and that she was such a good girl. It was so easy to grow attached to her, with her loving personality and such a physical similarity to my own. She was like a member of our family to me. As I was looking in her big, beautiful dark eyes, with my fingers running through the unbelievably soft white of her neck, all I could think was, how could she never lose her baby softness, this little girl of 8 and a half, and what a remarkable resemblance she bore to my own snowy little girl. If you weren't paying attention, you could almost easily mistake them for each other, even I did a double take of them more than once. Very special this was to me, to be so fortunate as to experience a most beautiful nearly matching set, in a reality determined to make such beauty extinct.

I looked into her huge dark eyes and ran my hands upwards and under her jaw, smiling at her and drifting along in my happiness, enjoying my visit. Her mom was in the kitchen preoccupied with something for a few moments, it was just me and her. "You're so pretty!" I always talked to her, just like I talk to mine. Smiling and rubbing, I rubbed her under the chin and my body went cold. A large lump on either side. Ice in my stomach, I gently felt them. She showed no indication of discomfort at all, but I was uncomfortable.

I looked up at my friend in the kitchen, still preoccupied. I can't tell her....I can't tell her. I looked back into the little girl's eyes. And I told her "Wow, Princess! You're such a big girl! Your neck is much bigger than my doggies' necks! You're so good!!" I knew my friend could hear.

A few days later, maybe 5 days, at night, the phone rang. It was my friend. She sounded heartbroken. It was stage 3 lymphoma. There are only 5 stages.

Raw food, real bones, so many suppliments and prednisone. Lots of love and rest, rest, rest. The lumps come, the lumps go, more symptoms, less symptoms. Accupuncture, Reiki, Holistic Vet. Months go by. An emotional roller coaster.

Tuesday morning, April 17th. 9:45. The phone rings. Will you come please, I don't want to be alone. Yes, of course.

I petted her and petted her, told her what a good girl she was, and how pretty she was. She looked up at me, lifted her head. Laid her face in my hand. I cried silently, I couldn't look at my friend. She was crying, heartbroken, didn't know what to do with herself. I didn't know what to do, I just didn't know, so I petted the little girl that looked so much like my little girl. I just kept petting.

The lady came. It was so peaceful and quick, and I am so glad, glad for my friend, and glad for the little white one. Glad for my friend's boyfriend and glad for me. My poor friend. It was over. But she's still everywhere.

***This affected me so deeply, everyday this runs through my mind. Our memories run through my mind, these bits and pieces. This little girl touched my life in such a special way, not to mention my friend's and all the others who love her. Thank you Princess. White Boxers Forever <3


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